The following is a transcript from a Raised Catholic podcast episode. To listen to the episode, click here.

Today is episode 152: Retreat Takeaways: Circle of Life – Stations of the Cross 

Hi friends. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! As I mentioned in the introduction to last week’s episode, I am newly home from a weekend retreat. I’ve been lucky to be a part of a team for this retreat many times before, but each time, I receive something different. Well, in this particular retreat, which is called cursillo, by the way, a worldwide program of faith renewal, the people who are gathered there each tend to hear something different from God which is especially for them – it’s kind of mysterious how that works, I guess, but I’m so grateful to be a part of it. From this last weekend, I have a basketful of things to pray over and process, and if it’s okay, I thought I would just do that in the course of the next few episodes with you.  

On a retreat or, really, anywhere, when the Holy Spirit is asking me to pay attention to a word or a scripture or an image or a person, I will generally feel a little ‘perk up’ in my spirit. I won’t always know why I am supposed to pay attention to this particular thing, but it’s just generally a feeling of, like, “you will want to notice this,” and so I do. I’ve come to recognize that feeling and it always proves itself fruitful, so I’ve learned to be open and obedient to that noticing, even when I don’t understand it. 

On this weekend, certain words and symbols came around over and over in various forms. It might have been through a line of a prayer or a scripture or someone’s talk given to the group. There might have been an image that continued to pop up, or something in a song. There were a few epiphanies that just absolutely came out of nowhere and blew me away, and honestly, it’s going to take me a while to process the meaning of everything God showed me there. If you’ve been on a retreat, you might know what I mean, and if you haven’t been on a retreat in a while, what a great gift to give yourself this season.

In this short series, I will focus on a few of the things that rose up for me during my weekend away: trees, dancing, time (specifically God’s timing), anchors, bells, and open hands. See, I told you it was a whole thing. I know – I’m kind of a weirdo. But anyway, I’ll start with the first little epiphany that I received when I was all alone one day in the chapel.

I was looping around the Stations of the Cross while I was praying for my friend, Anne, while she was giving her talk to the group. I love this chapel, I have a ton of history there, and I love the stations. They are simple and beautiful and very meaningful to me, but something about them hit a bit different this time. In our retreat house chapel, each station is given a short caption, like – ‘Jesus Condemned’, ‘The Holy Women’, ‘Mother and Son’ – and as you can imagine, I linger a bit longer at those last two, but this time the titles lent themselves to a sort of mosaic, a puzzle whose pieces came together for me for the first time. All of a sudden, I realized that all of these events in the life of Jesus as represented in the stations of the cross are found in some way in the lives of every one of his followers. After all, who among us has not fallen, or been slandered? Who has not had something truly important to us stripped away? Who in our lifetimes has not had someone step in and carry something that seemed much too heavy for us, or someone who tended to us in our need? As I looped around the stations again, I found new meaning in them. 

For example, at station one, ‘Jesus Condemned’, I thought of all of the times that I’ve been misunderstood or judged wrongly. At station two, ‘The Cross’, I thought of all of the effort I’ve undergone to begin to walk through something that seemed impossible. At ‘The First Fall,’ ‘The Second Fall,’ and ‘The Third Fall,’ I thought of how very human falling really is. We all fall short, and we fall from just the weight of life from time to time, don’t we?  At ‘Mother and Son,’ I thought of course of my kids, the unique connection of a mother and a child, but also about how I can’t bear to see them suffer in any way. Mary watching up-close the kind of suffering her Son endured is unthinkable to me. And at that station, I thought too of the call we all have as parents to let our children go, as Mary did, to let go of control, even if we don’t know exactly how it will all unfold. At ‘Simon,’ ‘Veronica,’ and ‘The Holy Women,’ I thought of the many people who have stepped in to help me and refresh me when I needed it in my life, and I hoped I had been that kind of a friend to others. At ‘The Stripping,’ I thought of the things that are taken from us – the things we think are critical and indispensable, the things we can’t live without – our people, circumstances, the things we hold most dear. At ‘The Nailing’ and ‘Jesus Dies’, I thought of the suffering we all endure, of all of the things that we Christians are called to die to over the course of our lives – our plans, our pride, control. At ‘The Descent’ and ‘Jesus Entombed’, I thought of the universal experience of finality and loss. As someone we love is buried or some experience we love comes to a close, the feeling that we will never see or experience it or them ever again is such a heavy weight to bear.

Well, that’s all of them, fourteen in all. And they’re kind of a downer, right? Oh friend, I know. Yet as I looped around those stations, I looked up and I saw a statue of Mary and the baby Jesus. She was pointing to the lectern, somehow, and so of course I glanced down at the reading she was pointing to in the book that was sitting open. And while I did, I felt God whisper to my spirit, “Yes, those stations are kind of a lot, and so is life. It would all be too much to bear, but thankfully the death of anything is just not the end of the story.” Friend, I wanted to share with you what I read that morning, from the Gospel of John, Chapter 20. 

“It was evening on the day Jesus rose from the dead, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the authorities. Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” 

This is the Gospel of the Lord. Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

Well friend, in that reading, I could feel the kindness of God in my spirit. If I could put words to what I felt, it would be something like, “Well, yes, as we go round and round whirling through these stations over and over, life can feel kind of like a cyclone, I know. But, Beloved, you’re never walking alone, and as we go round and round together, no matter what we experience, just remember that it’s never the end of the story. I come into the locked rooms of your life that you think I can’t enter, and there, I bring you peace. I even say it twice so you won’t forget! I show you my wounds so you will know I understand every single thing you’ve ever endured. I give you my Spirit so that you will be able to do the impossible because it will be God living in you that’s doing all the work. Life can be hard, it’s true, but we can do this together. I promise.”

And when I left the chapel that morning, friend, I believed it. I had a new lens on some of the struggles in my life, a new shot of hope, and I felt a new closeness to Jesus which is always a good thing. But there was so much more to come in that weekend, and so next week, I’ll tell you another story from my retreat experience. I hope to see you back here then. Until then…

Thank you so much for being with me today. If you need me, you can find me on Instagram @kerrycampbellwrites, at Substack at kerrycampbellwrites.substack.com, or on my website at kerrycampbell.org. Thanks so much for rating, reviewing, subscribing and most importantly, sharing this podcast with a friend.  That really makes a difference in growing our community, so thanks. If you’d like to support this podcast financially, there are a couple of ways for you to do that in the show notes, along with a ton of resources related to today’s episode, so do check all of that out, but before we go, let’s pray together.

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen.

Jesus, you are acquainted with every bit of our story. The human experience is not far from you, and as we cycle through this life, help us to know we are never circling through alone. Thanks for your kindness to us as we work to discover your love uniquely for us. God, would you encounter us today, right where we are, as we are. For us and our dear ones, we pray in the name of Jesus and wrapped in the mantle of our Mother Mary, amen.

Thanks so much for listening today, friends. I’ll see you next time.

Show Notes

This week I bring you the first of a few little epiphanies I gained while on retreat last week. A retreat is a good chance to take a detour from everyday life to hear how God is speaking directly to you, and a great gift to give yourself, too. I hope my takeaways are a blessing to you, and I hope you give yourself a time in retreat soon, too, because you deserve it.

f you’d like to connect with me, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠find me on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠at my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. If you’d like to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠help support this podcast financially⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, there’s a way to do just that ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my page at buymeacoffee.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Thanks for sharing, subscribing, rating, and reviewing, as this helps our community to grow.

Thanks as always to my friend, Peter Vaughan-Vail, for providing the beautiful harp music you hear in this and every episode.

Here are some resources I hope will help you to engage with this week’s topic in a deeper way for yourself:

1. ⁠Stations of the Cross prayers⁠ at the Colosseum with Pope Francis Good Friday, 2023 

2. ⁠Stations of the Cross art and prayers ⁠from daylesford.org

3. Song: ⁠Circle Game⁠, by Joni Mitchell

4. Song: ⁠Like a Circle⁠, by Ben Abraham

5. Art: ⁠Stations in the Street⁠, by Scott Erickson

6. Song: ⁠Everyday is a Winding Road⁠, by Sheryl Crow

7. Song: ⁠Life is But a Dream⁠, by Harpoons

8 Song: ⁠The Detour⁠, by FAITHFUL

9. Animated – for all ages (from Veggie Tales): ⁠Hope’s Song⁠