mother

  • Be Still

    I sat down with my cheese, crackers, nectarine and recorded episode of Real Housewives of NYC yesterday to enjoy a little quiet time after a busy morning when I heard my dog barking outside. She is a fiercely protective, twenty-two pound beagle mix, and she vigorously defends me from everyone who walks down my street.…

  • Unlikely Holy Ground

    I know what I will see in the moments before I die. I may not be in that place physically, or maybe I will, but I am absolutely certain about the image that will come before me at that time. Strange as it may seem, I know I will see one particular metal exit door…

  • Alternate Reality

    Last night at dinner, my son asked if we had ever considered the possibility that each of us was the only person who had ever existed and that everyone and everything else in history was a figment of our imagination. My daughter replied that she hadn’t had that particular thought, but had pondered whether we…

  • Summer of Change

    I am a few days into the Summer of Dread. With one kid at camp and one out working, I feared I would find myself aimless and depressed, and I will battle those demons in these months, to be sure. What I did not know is how a dog would change everything. Back when my…

  • Mothers

    “And it occurs to me that maybe the reason my mother was so exhausted all the time wasn’t because she was doing so much, but because she was feeling so much.” ~Kelly Corrigan, Glitter and Glue Mothers are bad ass.  I look at the delicate feminine symbols of Mother’s Day with a cynical eye.  Pale…

  • Outer Banks

    In the long, snowy, record-breaking Winter that led up to our Outer Banks vacation, I would often imagine myself on the beach in April. I thought, if I can just make it through the cold and snow, I’ll be rewarded there. I imagined myself flat on my back in what I hoped would be hot…

  • Pineapple, orange soda, chicken salad

    I rounded the corner of the produce aisle, almost done with my hectic Christmas food shopping trip when I felt my mother. She was pointing me toward a display of whole pineapples and urging me to bring one to the family gathering on Christmas Day. I have learned to listen to that still, inner voice,…

  • Last Day

    Given the choice, how would you spend the last day of your life?  On November 2nd, 2012, we were told that our Christmas-loving, enthusiastically gift-giving mother had very little time left.  Dealing with end-stage ovarian cancer, we had hoped she would make it to enjoy her favorite holiday.  She had already online-shopped for all of…

  • Boy

    I am sitting on my son’s bed, listening to him play on his keyboard with such expression, it makes me shake my head at the beauty. A lifetime of experiences has brought him to the point of playing this way. Piano lessons, yes, but also a passion for movies and their music, the drama of…

  • Gates

    A couple of days ago, I was waiting for a package to arrive at my parents’ house and my attention was drawn to this corner of their living room. Specifically, I was intrigued at the placement of two photographs of gates so near each other and something told me to tuck that away for future…