faith

  • Gifts

    There once was a girl who had lots of gifts. She could sing and tell stories and when she was well rested and filled with coffee and focus, she could be very kind. The girl went about her day looking for opportunities to be helpful and generous and she was those things, except for when…

  • Flowers

    On Wednesday, I sang at the funeral for Arlene, a longtime member of our community. I watched with awe as the flowers came in, one huge arrangement after another. Made of coordinated fall colors, they were perfect for Thanksgiving and I thought to myself: in their grief, this family is giving their beloved chapel a…

  • Advent

    https://christynockels.com/wp-content/uploads/amaryllis-square-podcast-image.jpg Advent is right on time this year. The word Advent embodies hope and remembrance and anticipation of something bursting through, of light coming into darkness. Advent is active, stretching and seeking for something we know is on its way. And it’s joyful; even though we’re waiting in darkness, we know the light will come.…

  • Daughters

    All of the mother-daughter pairs were at the craft store today, and then they all followed me over to the Paper Store. These girls and women stuck out to me all day long. They were a variety of ages…children to elderly, and some were sweet and others were annoyed. After all, this is the essence…

  • Door

    I am always sending things out: ideas, emotions, hope, and it sometimes seems that I am sending these things out into a shapeless void. I place pieces of my heart in sealed envelopes, put them in my outgoing mail, and never hear anything ever again. This is a false view, of course, and self-centered and…

  • Dad

    When I doubt and worry and despair, I sometimes need to check myself regarding what I believe about the nature of God. If I feel abandoned, that must mean that God is careless. If I feel shaken, maybe I believe God is not powerful. If I feel lonely, maybe my image of God is not…

  • Four

    My mother is the only person who knew pretty much my whole story and loved me anyway. She fiercely loved me, thought I was wonderful, and said so. She saw my insecurities, failings, and anxieties and knew the root of most of them. She could hear something quake in my voice about four seconds into…

  • Process

    I am running so super slowly all over town, and even though it’s mortifying, it’s by design. All of the best advice I’ve heard about increasing mileage is to extend your longest run of the week by time, not distance, and to run it as slowly as you can bear it. As I meander through…

  • Grateful

    Today I heard a homily from our beloved deacon and, even more so than in his words, I felt the force of his message really just in his presence alone. Our deacon lost his wife almost two months ago, and he is in the haze of grief that only those who have walked that road…

  • Waiting

    I don’t like waiting. Waiting for something important feels, for me, like a racing heart and a pit in my stomach and like my small voice echoing in a canyon: I AM ALONE. In the season in which I waited to get pregnant with Brian, I agonized and strived and pleaded with God. Two years…